On Christmas Day, I found out I was going to be an Aunt. After all the time that has passed as my sister and her husband struggled with infertility, it wasn’t just joyous news – it was ecstatic news. Keeping up with tradition, Mom and I went shopping the day after Christmas to see what deals we could find. Of course she was elated that things had worked out for my sister and that she was going to be a grandma.
But, with my family – well, we are realists and we weren’t 10 minutes into the conversation when Mom said she hoped she didn’t lose the baby. Part of my sister’s battle with infertility is the result of other health problems that would make this a high risk pregnancy to begin with. So, we were worried. Hopeful, but worried.
That night I dreamt that there were problems and woke up with an odd uneasiness. The proverbial sense of foreboding seemed to surround everything but I shrugged it off knowing I would see her later that day. Plans ended up getting jumbled and I didn’t get to see her. By the next day I had forgotten about it and went about cleaning up from the holidays and other chores I needed to get done. I was still supposed to meet up with her at some point to pick dishes up that were left at her house from the holiday meal when I got a message that she had to run out for a bit and would let me know when she was home.
I never got a call that she was home. When my phone rang it was Mom. She was clearly shaken and I could hear the tears restrained in her voice.
This opportunity may be lost for the paradise my sister seeks but, as always, I am looking for the silver lining. This is closer than they have ever been when everyone told them they would most likely have to adopt. Yes, it’s heartbreaking. A life was lost before we had the chance to meet them. But they were able to conceive. And, that means that it could be possible again.
The hope for them is not lost, just delayed.
